my son

I Am So Tired
I am tired of crying for my child.
I am tired of being depressed.
I am tired of longing for my child.
I am tired of not being happy.
I am tired of telling people that my son is
dead.
I am tired of my son being dead.
I am tired of not being able to remember what
joy feels like.
I am tired of being angry.
I am tired of feeling guilty.
I am tired of missing my son.
I am tired of being told that it is a blessing
to have an angel
in heaven.
I am tired of being misunderstood.
I am tired of having to explain myself when I am
depressed.
Again, I am tired of being depressed.
I am so tired of death.
I am tired of grieving.
I am tired of grief.
I am tired of asking why.
I am tired of not getting an answer.
I am tired of having to learn to live without my
son,.
I am tired of being indirectly told to " get
over it"
I am tired of re-living the day of my son’s death
over and over, complete with tears and emotional
upheaval.
I am sooooooooo tired of not being able to
remember every
moment of his life.
I am tired of being tired.
Found this poem at Heavenly Lights Children's
Memorial Grief and
Memorial Poetry. The author was unknown. It really
seemed to fit how
I feel most of the time. I really miss my son Justin so much.

desktop picture

This is what I have on my desktop at work, I will probably make something different when I get time, but I love having johnny at work with me. LOL

Maxine comment

next page

This is the 2nd page, and the page is of Matt who is now 15. I hope to work on some more pages this week.

new pages

This is a picture of Derrick when we went to Hoover Dam, he is 11 years old. I did this page myself using PaintShop Pro.

Funny joke