my son

I Am So Tired
I am tired of crying for my child.
I am tired of being depressed.
I am tired of longing for my child.
I am tired of not being happy.
I am tired of telling people that my son is
dead.
I am tired of my son being dead.
I am tired of not being able to remember what
joy feels like.
I am tired of being angry.
I am tired of feeling guilty.
I am tired of missing my son.
I am tired of being told that it is a blessing
to have an angel
in heaven.
I am tired of being misunderstood.
I am tired of having to explain myself when I am
depressed.
Again, I am tired of being depressed.
I am so tired of death.
I am tired of grieving.
I am tired of grief.
I am tired of asking why.
I am tired of not getting an answer.
I am tired of having to learn to live without my
son,.
I am tired of being indirectly told to " get
over it"
I am tired of re-living the day of my son’s death
over and over, complete with tears and emotional
upheaval.
I am sooooooooo tired of not being able to
remember every
moment of his life.
I am tired of being tired.
Found this poem at Heavenly Lights Children's
Memorial Grief and
Memorial Poetry. The author was unknown. It really
seemed to fit how
I feel most of the time. I really miss my son Justin so much.

desktop picture

This is what I have on my desktop at work, I will probably make something different when I get time, but I love having johnny at work with me. LOL

Maxine comment

next page

This is the 2nd page, and the page is of Matt who is now 15. I hope to work on some more pages this week.

new pages

This is a picture of Derrick when we went to Hoover Dam, he is 11 years old. I did this page myself using PaintShop Pro.

Funny joke

mornings

WEll I have been getting up early every morning for the last week, this is how I feel:

what I made

I was working on a tut that I received and this is one that I did, I still need to work on it.
http://www.freewebs.com/vixpsp/followthatstar.htm

more mini pages

These are more of the pages I did.

2007 mini scrap pages

These three pages are part of a mini album I did for my Mom and Mother in Law. The sizes were 4 x 4 and they turned out great. These pictures are just some from the last year.
thanks for looking.

Old Photo

Here is a page I did, this photo is from 1992 when we first moved into our new home. Ryan was only 2, he is now 18. He was so cute and of course he still is, I wish he didnt grow up so fast.
The kit is from-Just for the Scrap of it.
The kit is by Brandi West.

new page

This is a page I did of my boys, I got the kit from http://justforthescrapofit.net/store/
and the kit LoveyDoveyNights/
I am going to keep working on learning how to digi scrap till I get good at it.

Sad news

My 10 year old son Derrick's kitty died tonight, he is very upset. Very upset, we are all upset but this is the first time that his own personal animal died. We all loved kitty. I can home from work tonight, saw her in the yard across the street, I heard her meow, and my tiger cat was waiting for me and saw me and came and got me and then he went to her across the street. I knew something was wrong, but I was scared, so I ran in the house quietly got my husband, didn't want to say anything to Derrick just yet, and my husband went over and picked her up wrapped her in a towel and held her till she passed on, we didn't even have enough time to take her to the vet. It is so sad. When I left her this morning she was full of life playing, but she loved to be outside, we are really going to miss her, my Tiger he is also upset. He was just so upset when I got home, it is amazing to see how other animals act when there is something wrong.

I just hope Derrick does ok, anything like this brings back the loss of Justin, even though animals do die, and she was more at risk because she preferred to be outdoors, but we still loved her.

RIP Princess Penelope -March 2007-Jan 2008

Johnny Depp

Here is a page I did with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, I just love this picture of Johnny, of course any picture with Johnny Depp is great.

another page

This page is of my two cats, one is still a kittne and the other one he is about 8 years old, he seems to like to take care of her.

my banner

Well today I made my first banner for this blog, I thought it would be hard but it wasnt, I am going to try and make a different with some new pictures of my boys.

last one for now

Ok These are the ones I have done so far, just wanted to share with you. I now need a bigger hard drive because I have so much digital stuff, there are so many kits online for free that I can stay busy for a long time.

picture 6